I would like to think that I’m on the other side of burnout, but I don’t know. What is burnout? The dictionary on my computer says burnout is a “physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress.”
Yeah, that sums up how I’ve been feeling.
Many of you reading this know me and a lot of you don’t. I wouldn’t say that I’m an overly happy person, but I wouldn’t say that I’m miserable either. I try to be grateful for everything I have, which is where I derive much of my joy. I am fastidious. I like everything in its right place. I don’t like clutter. I don’t like when anything is wrong with my cars. And I’m extremely in tune with my body and emotions.
So when something is off, it makes me insane. For the past six months, something has felt off. My sleep hasn’t been great. I have new aches and pains. I tend to be irritable. I don’t like any of this. I’ve been experiencing anxiety more than I ever have. Depression used to be my default setting but it’s taken a back seat so anxiety can sit up front.
Alright, so what am I doing about it?
I quit my job last week and started a new one this week. After nearly four years in my last position, I finally had enough. I know this is cliche but I was overworked and underpaid (who isn’t?). I wasn’t ungrateful for my job but I wanted a fair exchange for my talents and time.
Fortunately, I have a skill set that’s in demand and I was able to land a new position relatively fast. Quitting a job is exciting. You get to live out all of the fantasies you’ve been playing in your head. Except in reality, things are way less dramatic and uneventful, which is probably for the best. I was able to speak my mind about my frustrations and concerns with the organization with those who could make a change. I feel at peace with my decision and didn’t take my leaving lightly.
I had to leave because I was experiencing burnout for the first time in my career. After I dropped off my computer and badge, I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I exited the building. It was as if I had just left my old life in the past so I could assume a new one.
Interstellar is one of my favorite films. Near the end of the film, Cooper goes into Gargantua, the black hole, in order to find his way back home. Just before he drops into the black hole he says, “Newton’s Third Law, you gotta leave something behind,” and then drops down to the surprise of Brand.
Interstellar 4K HDR IMAX | Into The Black Hole - Gargantua 1/2
I find this scene so powerful because it illustrates just how much we are tied to the forces of the universe—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We are not exempt from physics just because we don’t like it. This is how I felt when I was experiencing burnout. I had to leave my job behind in order to move forward. I wasn’t experiencing symmetry in my life.
I don’t know if I made the right decision in the long term. The only thing I know is that I had to make a change in order to find balance in my life. Today I feel a renewed sense of energy and purpose. I feel like my work can make a positive change in the world. Sure, earning more money is nice because it enables me to save for the future, but I need a sense of purpose to keep going each day.
If you’re experiencing burnout, please make the necessary changes in your life so you can get back to a place of symmetry. Nothing is worth doing if it takes from you without giving back. My journal was an essential tool to help me view my situation objectively. I was able to go back to specific moments in time to validate my logic and emotions. When you’re dealing with something stressful, it’s difficult to take a step back to view your feelings objectively. A journal helps you spot patterns and anxiety loops.
I was able to find specific dates when I was triggered and how I felt. My feelings only got worse as time went on. All of which made my decision to quit my job easier because I was relying on logic and not just emotions. I can say that I’m doing much better now and hope to improve as time passes. I’m still doing the daily work to keep my anxiety down and my emotions in check. Reading, writing, and being grateful are simple actions that help me stay grounded.
Sorry if this post was heavier than the usual articles I publish about watches and cars but I needed to get my feelings out of my head and into the world. And if you’re experiencing burnout, don’t let it fester because things will only get worse. Seek help and take care of yourself.
Again, thank you for your attention. I appreciate it.
Don’t ever apologize for being honest and vulnerable.
You have all the skills you need to be successful, including the skill to acquire new skills.
You got this, dude!