A Weakened Dad Tribute to My Unshakeable Wife
A good partner makes the work of three jobs possible with two people.
Last week my wife and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. We didn’t go to a fancy restaurant. We didn’t go on an exotic vacation. Instead, I worked and she took care of our kids. We ordered takeout from our favorite Thai restaurant and had a great evening. I’m not saying my wife doesn’t deserve to have nice things or to go on fancy vacations—if anybody does, it’s her!
But she and I know that we’re in the season of life that requires us to give our energy and attention to our children. We knew we were signing up for a lifetime of sacrifice before our first son was born. Besides, we just got home from an epic six-week trip across America, and it was nice to stay home.
For this week’s post, I wanted to write about the rock behind this weakened dad, my wife Alexis. She’s the wisest person I know, and the foundation of our family.
The Weekend Dad
For the past five years, my wife has worked nearly every weekend in the operating room at one of the local hospitals. She is a surgical technologist, which means she assists in surgery and handles surgical instrumentation. She loves what she does and the people she works with love her.
Her commitment to her craft means I spend the weekends with my kids (hence the play on the term “weekend dad”). Being a weekend dad means I’m the one who feeds, bathes, disciplines, plays with and puts the kids to bed. My wife usually works two 12-hour shifts. So my weekends tend to be full of activity and relatively long.
She took the past 10 months off of work because of the birth of our third son. Having her around on the weekends, spending time together, and having another adult in the house has been amazing. She’s starting to get back into her work life again and I forgot just how challenging it is to take care of little kids on my own.
I rarely have time for anything I want to do. If we play video games then it's what my kids want. If we watch a movie, it’s never anything cool like Fight Club or Interstellar. Instead, we watch one of the three Cars movies.
Going out in public is a strategic venture that involves mitigating the risk of a child getting lost and/or causing a scene. Public parks are the go-to destinations—preferably ones that have a perimeter fence to keep the kids in one place. Food is either made and packed ahead of time or purchased at a restaurant with a drive-thru option. There’s zero chance I’m releasing my kids into a space without barriers.
When my wife is at work I try to do as many chores as possible. I opt for the chores I can mostly automate like the dishes or laundry. Even with the convenience of modern appliances, household chores still take loads of time and effort. Viewing my chores through the lens of “chop wood, carry water” helps me get through and make the most of them. It also helps me do something extra that isn’t feeding someone or changing a diaper.
How my wife can get anything done throughout the week is beyond me. She’s a master at juggling tasks and always seems to get everything done. I keep my complaints to a minimum about my weekend dad duties because I know how hard it is to keep three small boys happy—let alone for five days in a row.
A Deep Feeling of Gratitude
Being a weekend dad has given me a profound understanding and appreciation for what my wife does. I’m more exhausted Sunday night than I am Friday night after working all week. Raising children is mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting. There never seems to be a break. But I’ve learned that the work of being a parent is the reward. Those quiet, still moments you get with them make the effort worth it.
Not having my wife around on the weekends makes me appreciate even more what she does Monday through Friday. She always seems to be much calmer and more collected than I am. I’m amazed by her willingness to get out and do things with the kids when it would be easier to stay home.
I recently read that having a good partner makes the work of three jobs possible with two people. My wife and I are living proof of that. Her contributions and sacrifices don’t go unnoticed by me. I couldn’t be the father I am without her support.
Here’s to the last 11 years and to many more!
You’re the best, Lex.
Alexis is a Saint and an Awesome mother but Cory you are a wonderful father and I am so proud of both of you. Great article
And they said there’s no true romantics left in this world... *swoon*