Add Meaningful Friction to Your Life
Adding friction to your life gives you time to ponder, meditate, and reflect.
I’m surrounded by convenience wherever I go. Services and apps—you name it—want to do my chores. Instacart wants to do my grocery shopping. Amazon doesn’t want me to get off of my couch to go shopping, or to turn off the next episode of Jack Ryan on Prime Video. Spotify wants me to listen to what it thinks I like. Hell, car companies don’t even want me to drive anymore. Think about the episodes of Emily In Paris I could be watching instead of driving?!
Adding friction to our lives seems like the worst thing imaginable. Heaven help me if I have to wait in line with the plebeians at the airport instead of using TSA Pre-Check! I need to make time to stare mindlessly at my phone before I board my flight where I’ll zone out to whatever Delta Studio has to offer.
But what does all of this frictionless convenience cost me? My money is the obvious cost. Does all of this time- and effort-saving make me any happier? I don’t think so, and here’s why I believe that.
When I think back to some of the most rewarding experiences in my life, none came as a result of convenience. They all required effort and sacrifice. This is also true for the smaller things I experience every day.
I generally like friction in my life. Working toward and/or against something is fun. If you want to add meaningful friction to your life then here are five ways to do it. I’m hoping you can glean something out of this article to help.
1. Take the Long Way Home
Google Maps and other navigation apps are modern marvels. I use them whenever I’m going somewhere new or don’t remember well. But when was the last time you used Google Maps to get to work or the grocery store? Probably not in a long time. That’s unless you use Waze to see where police are on your route.
I like to take different routes to and from my office. The variety of options makes my drive exciting and gets me out of a boring rhythm. I like to see different things and explore my options. This can become useful if your main route is jammed with traffic and you need a viable alternative.
I love driving and I find it meditative. Some of my best thinking happens behind the wheel. I actually removed the stereo from one of my cars to reduce the distractions so I could focus on driving and thinking. It was one of the best mods I’ve ever done to a car.
2. Walk If You Can
As much as I love driving, I also love walking. I started this Substack because of walking. The clarity of thought I get while walking is incomparable. It probably has something to do with blood flow and oxygen. Regardless, walking is an amazing tool for gaining insight into your mind. The same is true for any form of exercise.
Last spring I started walking to work at least once a month, if possible. The distance from my house to my office is nearly 10 miles. The first time I did the walk it seemed daunting. I remember leaving my house at 5 a.m. with my headlamp to guide the way. I saw the sunrise while crossing an overpass. I had to walk along a highway for a short stretch until I could reach a sidewalk. I saw a raccoon going through some trash. I walked on some new streets that I had never been down. I noticed homes that I hadn’t seen before. Everything felt new even though I have lived in Athens for almost eight years.
What I thought would be an uncomfortable task ended up being extremely pleasurable.
3. Read Books and Magazines
Is there another analog form of data storage that’s better than a book? I can’t think of one. The sheer amount of information contained in a relatively small package is extraordinary. It’s no wonder that the printing press changed the world in the late 15th century.
The ability to share information and ideas through words is essentially what the internet is—content. In the past few years, I’ve made a drastic shift back to books and magazines. I’ve discovered that I retain information better if read on a printed surface. I tend to read things slower with more intention. The biggest reason for my increased focus is the lack of distractions.
Have you read a book on your phone or computer? It’s all but impossible. When your mind starts to wander there’s an unlimited supply of entertainment waiting for you. What’s more, screens are designed to refresh and change. A page is what it is. There’s no refresh rate or power settings.
4. Listen to Internet-Free Music
I talked about how great music streaming was in my last post, and it is for specific reasons. However, I prefer listening to music on my iPod more than anything else. If you don’t have an iPod then anything that isn’t a streaming service will work, like vinyl records, cassettes, MP3/HiFi players, and the radio.
The goal of this point is to limit your musical choices. Force yourself to listen to music you haven’t considered before. There’s a risk involved with listening to something you may not like because you might waste your time on it. But is it really a waste of time if you got something out of it—good or bad?
I use an iPod Video 5.5 from 2006. I modified it with a 256 GB microSD card, a new battery, and a faceplate. I’ve maintained my music library since the early 2000s and have amassed a diverse collection. What I like most about my iPod is its sound quality. Most of my files are Apple Lossless (ALAC), which means they are CD quality or better. I buy my music once and that’s it. I never have to worry about it disappearing from streaming or hearing ads.
The obvious friction for me is that I have to manually update my iPod. If there’s an artist I want to listen to that isn’t on my iPod, too bad. I’ll just have to find something else.
The more I listen to my iPod over streaming the more I find myself listening to specific albums on repeat. My music selection is limited so I have to enjoy what I have. The repeated listing unveils nuances that I missed on the first and second listens. I love taking a deep dive into an album to understand what the artist was trying to do. I don’t get this kind of immersion with streaming because I have so many options.
5. Take Photos with an Actual Camera
I love photography even though I’m not very good at it. For me, there’s nothing better than capturing an image with a big piece of glass. Objectively, my iPhone takes just as good of photos. But I feel like there’s something lacking with an iPhone photo. The final image looks flat and over-processed.
I recently fixed an old Nikon N8008 film SLR camera and shot my first roll of film. I’m still waiting to get the film back from the developer. The process of capturing images with this camera involves nothing but friction. I had to fix the camera, buy a lens, order the film, learn how to shoot photos, mail the film to a developer, and wait. And even then, my photos may not turn out very well. It’s a process that I’ll have to repeat until I get the results I’m after.
Film cameras might be a little too extreme for most people so that’s why I recommend using a DSLR. I bought a Nikon D700 full-frame camera last year for $250. It shoots exceptional photos and was a $3,000 camera when new. It uses the old CF memory card that you have to use an adapter with to upload to Lightroom. I appreciate the photos I take with my cameras more than I do with my iPhone. I look forward to going through my photos and making them how I want with Lightroom.
Understanding the compromise of shutter speed, aperture and ISO helps you capture light in a way that’s impossible to do on a phone. All of this friction will eventually help to develop a useful skill.
Slow Down and Ponder
Friction is a means to an end. By adding friction to your life you’re giving yourself time to ponder, meditate, and reflect. I find that I’m happiest when I’ve had time to digest my experiences and thoughts. Being pulled in a dozen different directions is maddening and ultimately unsatisfying.
I’m not saying you have to do what I do. I want to give someone a place to start if they’re searching for peace of mind. Even if you only try one of the points, I think you’ll find increased enjoyment within a few weeks.
Try adding some meaningful friction to your life to see what happens when you slow down, even just a little bit.
Thank you for your attention.